2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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