Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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