so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
