Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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