Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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