I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize