You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
