dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
