i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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