He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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