I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
