Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
