I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
