found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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