We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize