how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize