so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
