areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize