Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We don't watch enough power rangers
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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