So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize