a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
