Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize