it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
