why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
