READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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