Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
