Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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