Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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