You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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