He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
