Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
