I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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