are you so shy because you have an std?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
