I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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