Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
