you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize