I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
