there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
