I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
