wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Randomize
