So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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