Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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