I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
