Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
