The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We're too hungover to prance.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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