She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
my liver is dry heaving
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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