I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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