There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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