It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
