so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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