I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
