what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
