jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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