i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
