honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
