remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize