Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
