You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
