just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
