Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
