I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize