Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
