I wish I could teleport
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
