alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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